Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

Being Happy and Healthy in 2019 Practicing Positivity by Being Optimistic Winston Churchill was quoted with the following statement: "Pessimists see the difficulty in every opportunity; optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty".  The science surrounding Positive Psychology has provided research based evidence that persons, who tend to be optimistic or focus on thinking in positive ways enjoy both physiological and emotional benefits.  Being happy bodes for a longer and healthier life. It is important to note that a sense of happiness is not a brief state of elation or a sporadic burst of positive emotions. It is best defined as a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and social connection. We can enhance and sustain our happiness by practicing the following: Being grateful and thoughtfully acknowledging those things we appreciate in our lives Being curious and taking reasonable risks to expand ourselves, grow and have new experiences Seeing ourselves as c...

Being Patient Is Not Being Passive: The Power in Being Patient Many times, we struggle with being patient, particularly when we are waiting for something we want or desire to happen.   In that struggle, we often perceive ourselves to be powerless and dependent on the external entity to grant that thing, we are awaiting.   This sometimes generates anxiety and other forms of emotional distress (i.e. frustration, irritation, doubt, insecurity, etc.) that can lead to impatience.   In our impatience, we may act impulsively. Such behaviors typically do not result in our getting what we desire. Acting, primarily from a place of impatience, may result in even more undesired and disastrous effects. I propose that we find some healthy guidelines for managing our minds and emotions around being patient. Let's consider healthy attitudes around being patient, so that it can work for us and enhance our well-being. Take the expression, “exercising patience” seriously....

Nurturing Our Being Human Enhances Our Wellbeing Often we treat ourselves as though we are objects or machines. A good example of this is the over emphasis in American society on producing outcomes that are tangible or material in nature. Our tendency to over value what is is we do in this sense, as opposed to focusing on nurturing our well being. Taking care of our well being is the key to enjoying benefits that promote wellness, happiness and a positive sense of self. When we direct our energy and engage in practices that address our needs from the inside out (as opposed to ), we are more likely to experience the following states that research shows are most likely associated with being successful. Feeling a sense of value and priority Feeling energized Feeling relaxed Feeling self-confident Feeling motivated Feeling empowered Feeling a sense of clarity Feeling a sense of purpose Feeling a sense of passion Feeling accomplished Feeling connected to others This is the...

Taking good care of ourselves is our responsibility and our right. This includes our emotional well-being and ability to feel good and effectively manage our emotions. We surrender our power by allowing others to control, mistreat, manipulate or take advantage of us.  Therefore, it is important to value our well-being and exercise our ability to treat ourselves well. When we nurture ourselves, make ourselves a priority and enable ourselves to enjoy life, it energizes us and promotes our happiness.  This process creates a reservoir of abundance, from which we can give to others with a healthy spirit of generosity that does not leave us depleted.  Treating ourselves well also sends a positive message to others and sets a healthy standard and expectation about the treatment we will accept from others. Here are ways to treat yourself well : Nurture your spirituality and your sense of purpose, mission and calling Celebrate yourself and appreciate being alive Focus on w...

What TAG are You Wearing?   What Does Your TAG Reflect About You? A TAG is typically thought of as a label, which identifies, describes or provides information about the object, to which it is attached.  The term, "TAG", as it applies to a person's career life, specifically refers to one's talents, abilities and gifts. Talents:   One’s natural or intrinsic strengths; those things that come easy to a person.   Typically, talents become apparent when persons are encouraged to express them and provided with the opportunity to develop them. Example: A parent might notice that their young child is especially good at drawing and reinforces the expression of that talent with positive praise and feedback. What are your talents?    Reflect on your talents by assessing your accomplishments and successes Recognize what it is that you find particularly of interest and easy to do Explore your talents by exposing yourself to different experiences...

"Shoulding" on oneself  is a form of thinking about oneself in harsh, unkind, unfair and judgmental ways. Below are three common manifestations of this type of self "shoulding". Also provided are strategies to  transform such thinking into healthy, self-loving, self-compassionate, reasonable and empowering attitudes. I. Unhealthy, Negative or "Stinking Thinking": "I Should (do something)" Do you attempt to motivate yourself to accomplish something by telling yourself about what you "should do" (or other obligatory and self-judgmental terms, such as "ought to", "got to", "must" and "need to", etc.)?  This for of thinking is self-critical and unkind toward self. Instead, it sets you up to fight internally because you hear yourself commanding yourself to perform. This places undue pressure on oneself and results in added stress. I. Healthy, Self-Compassionate and Self-Loving: "I Want"...

How to Live Intentionally Decide and choose to be: Happy       (a reasonable and manageable state of contentment) Empathic       (considerate toward and able to relate to the feelings of others) Truthful and Authentic      (honest, transparent and open with self and others; behaving        with integrity) Trustworthy       (responsible, reliable, consistent, of  good character) Mindful      (present to the present; valuing and utilizing the moment) Grateful      (appreciative of and able to value good things in life)      Loving      (able to extend oneself toward and connect with others ) Achievement Oriented       (setting and working toward reasonable goals) Empowered over one's circumstances      (behaving and viewing self as able to overcome...

What Happens To You Does Not Define You Healthy Ways to Deal With Negative Circumstances and Events You are not your circumstance It is important to recognize that negative situations and circumstances are something we may experience.  We are in a negative situation; not of it. Externalize negative situations, instead of internalizing a negative self-assessment         (punishing yourself; excessive guilt or shame; feeling unworthy; becoming depressed) Recognize how you survived and may have even overcome a past negative situation. Value your strengths and qualities that have enabled you to get through  Give yourself credit for having healed and gotten to a better place   Focus on ways to cope, get through and overcome a current negative situation Adopt a problem solving attitude and seek possible solutions and resources Recognize when a situation is temporary, so that you realize you will not get stuck Aim for...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY: REDEFINED Let's broaden the Valentine's Day concept to loving ourselves and others, no matter the nature of our relationships. Also, let's recognize it as a way to celebrate loving ourselves and others all year long. It is essential to remember that giving and receiving healthy love starts with loving ourselves.  Here are some healthy-self love guidelines. Healthy Self-Love Self-Awareness Knowing oneself Positive Self-Worth / Priority Valuing oneself and needs Self-Respect /Integrity Having consistent standards and Healthy boundaries Self-Acceptance /Authenticity Embracing and being oneself Feeling Capable Recognizing talents & skills Feeling Accomplished Sense of competence Feeling Secure Trusting oneself Feeling Empowered Being in control of self and decisions Being Responsible for Self Good self-care