Wednesday, March 30, 2016

How to Triumph Over Tragedies, Negative Events and Mistakes

When we experience a negative occurrence, in order to overcome it and move on, it is important that we aim to heal from it; learn from it; and grow from it. Accomplishing these tasks enable us to face the unknown future with more optimism and self-confidence.

Heal from the trauma of the event
Understandably, we wish that certain negative events had never happened.  Recognizing and acknowledging the painful impact of a negative incident is important to our regaining a sense of control over our lives, working through the painful experience, and getting to a good place.  It is important that we validate our distressing feelings that we experience in connection with the setback or painful event in order to face and resolve them.  We can eventually feel better; regain our sense of personal empowerment around our decisions and lives; and rebuild trust in ourselves, others and the world. Giving ourselves the space and time to grieve losses and eventually recover, enables us to build our resilience and strengthen our healthy coping skills. Also, availing ourselves to healthy social support can provide us with the comfort, emotional support and encouragement to recover.  

Learn any lessons from the experience
It is important that we find ways to feel in control empowered, instead of allowing the circumstance or negative event to define or dictate to us.  In the aftermath of a negative event, you may ask yourself the following questions:

  •      What did you learn about yourself?  For instance, were there emotional or behavioral strengths or shortcomings that the situation revealed about yourself? 
  •      What you would do differently if you face a future similar event? Instead of berating yourself about a past bad decision, have compassion toward yourself and see your ability to change.
  •        Is there some larger spiritual meaning or purpose that you can assign to the negative experience? For instance, did this experience result in some positive transformation?
Grow and move forward
When the painful experience has passed or ended, it is important that we recognize that reality and celebrate that we are most likely currently in a better state or place.  Reflecting on how we accomplished getting to an improved present is essential in helping us build our resilience and self-confidence.  It is important that we realize that the negative event did not destroy us and that it did not define us.  Therefore, when we acknowledge that we, not only survived, but in some ways, triumphed over the negative experience, we can identify the characteristics, coping strategies and attitudes that were successful. We deserve to celebrate and feel good about our ability to triumph.


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