Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Romantic Relationship "Red Flags"



Romantic Relationship “Red Flags”
Presenter: Diane Kern, Ph.D.
Creator of Happy and Healthy U Mental Wellness Seminars

How do you know when you may be headed for a doomed, dissatisfying or unhealthy relationship?

Empower yourself to identify and address significant problems at early stages by recognizing these “red flags” or warning signs.

Abusive Behaviors:

  •     Physical or Sexual Violence
  •     Verbal and Emotional Abuse  (insults, humiliation, put downs, sarcasm,  prolonged silent   treatment)

Lack of Trust:

  • Extreme Secrecy  
  •  Excessive Jealousy 
  •   Possessiveness
  •   Dishonesty and Major Inconsistencies

Refusal to Publicly Acknowledge the Relationship:

  •         Not wanting to introduce you as a significant other or someone special
  •          Not wanting to be photographed with you
  •          Attentive when you two are alone, but ignores you when with others are present
  •          Not  including you in interactions with family or friends; Keeping you a secret
Disrespectful, Controlling and Manipulative Behaviors:
  •        Placing limitations on your reasonable activities
  •         Dictating and/or limiting your interactions with family and friends
  •        Trying to change you and being overly critical
  •       More than one relative or friend expresses concern about your mate or relationship

Significant Discrepancies in:

  • Interests and Life Styles  
  •  Long and Short Term Goals
  • Core Values (i.e. Religious, Ethical, Moral, Life Philosophy) 
  •  Need for time and attention together

Rules of Thumb
Unhealthy Relationships:  The predominant emotions experienced are sadness, feeling unloved, low self-esteem, fear, guilt or shame

Healthy Relationships:  The predominant emotions experienced are feeling good, valued, respected, safe, cared for, and accepted

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