Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

The Process of Progress As 2017 ends and 2018 begins, it is a natural point in time to stop and reflect on what has occurred and what we hope will happen.   A great deal of emphasis is placed upon setting goals for 2018.   It is healthy and progressive to have an optimistic sense of direction.   However, many of us have grown weary of setting “resolutions” or goals that we either abandon or fail to fully accomplish.   This often breeds a vicious cycle of either setting unrealistic goals, that we are not likely to successfully meet or a chronic sense of trepidation, dread and doubt about the future.    We are more likely to meet and feel optimistic about attaining goals that are based in reality. This enables us to set goals that we can believe in and see the likelihood of success. One approach is to be present and mindful of the journey toward our goal.   In that way, we can understand that the goal is not accomplished overnight and we ...

1. Be Purposeful and Intentional About Celebrating the Holidays This will enable you to be proactive and in control of how you operate during the holidays.  Therefore, determine the following: What spiritual principles and values you wish to honor (i.e. generosity, charity, family togetherness, personal reflection, etc.) What religious meaning the holidays have and the related traditions and activities you wish to observe   How you wish to feel during and after the holidays       2.  Ask For and Accept Help From Others Recognize that it may be far easier to accomplish some of the time and energy consuming tasks with assistance from others.  This may also be an opportunity to strengthen relationships by recognizing the talents and contributions of others. Examples may include: Hosting a tree trimming party and each guest, who assists, gets a special ornament as a gift or everyone goes out together for a meal. Having a ...

Don't Give Power to the Pain: Understand It; Address It; and Overcome It A healthy response to pain is to recognize its value in signaling us that there is a problem, such as an unhealthy state to address.  Due to its distressing nature, we are typically motivated to end the pain and to resolve the underlying cause, so that we will feel good.  The desire to end pain and return to a state of well-being is a healthy, adaptive response.  Both in the physical and in the emotional sense, the healthy goal of ending pain is to heal  and take care of or resolve whatever caused it. In the emotional sense, pain consists of distressing emotions, such as sadness, depression, anxiety, confusion, anger, hurt, jealousy, insecurity, etc.  Sometimes, we focus more on the distress and discomfort of the pain, as opposed to the underlying problematic cause.  In such instances, we may be motivated to simply shut down or not feel the pain.  Psychologically, we may do t...

Fear becomes a "four letter word" or unhealthy and dysfunctional when it interferes with our functioning, rather than facilitate our coping and survival. Fear is the emotional and physiological arousal that alerts us to potential danger and threat to our well being.  The healthy form of fear occurs when the danger is real.  In such cases, it gets our attention and prompts us to seek ways to get to safety and re-establish a sense of calm and equilibrium. Unhealthy fear or the "four letter word version" occurs when we experience this distressing emotion in response to perceived danger, that is not real or to negative thoughts that have no proof.  Examples of mental states that underlie unhealthy fear include: persistent and chronic worry about the future negative and pessimistic expectations that have no foundation irrational, unrealistic and erroneous beliefs  viewing a negative event from the past as ongoing, even when it has ceased negative, self-deprecat...

Progress is a process, not an event.  When we fail to value and recognize this fact, it results in problems such as the following: When we have set unrealistic expectations in the first place that involves a goal that is not reasonable for anyone to achieve or that is not something we have either the willingness, skills or ability to achieve. Examples:  Deciding to become an orchestra conductor.  However, you have neither the strong interest in music or the skills required, such as reading music Remedy / Positive Attitude:  Setting goals that make sense for us; that are well within our interest level and capability   When we aim to accomplish a goal without allowing ourselves a "learning curve" or a realistic opportunity to acquire a skill and grow in strengthening it, we set ourselves up for failure. Examples: Failing to recognize that it takes time to learn a new skill may result in giving up              ...

Cash in on your value! Your professional worth is very important in boosting your career confidence. By knowing, honoring and asserting your professional work, you can leverage it to attain better opportunities, increased compensation and career advancement through obtaining improved positions. If you are seeking advancement opportunities, a salary increase or other work related rewards (i.e. bonuses in your current position), here are some strategies to help you cash in on your value and get what you want. 1.  Know your Professional Value What is your special expertise, skills, talents, abilities that you utilize in your work ? What contributions have you made in your workplace ? What does your manager or supervisor rely on you to do ? What are the positive qualities for which your are known and respected at work ? What is your level of training and education ? What achievements have you made in your workplace ? 2.  Test Market Your Professional Value Activi...

The Process of Progress While it is healthy to set and aim for goals, it is often difficult to sustain our momentum and motivation on the way to achieving them.  Sometimes, the goal appears so daunting and unapproachable that we lose steam and give up. It is also difficult to persevere and maintain our pace and momentum when we only focus not having yet reached our goal.  This is often demonstrated by expressions of frustration and doubt about the likelihood of accomplishment. No doubt, these experiences actually interfere with successful achievement of our goals. Sustaining our motivational energy, exercising patience with ourselves and persevering until we reach our goals requires a mindset that focuses on progress and reinforces healthy motivation.   Look forward to experiencing success in achieving your goals and remaining optimistic throughout the process in the following ways: Exercising reasonable and realistic expectations     ...

Building Your Career Confidence Presented by Diane Kern, Ph.D.           Career Confidence is Comprised of: ·          Having a Strong and Positive Sense of Professional Self ·          Having a Sense of Direction, Aim, Goals ·          Actively Moving Toward One’s Professional Goals                Having Confidence About Your Career Life is Predicated on: ·          Knowing What You Want to Do (in existing career or new endeavor) ·          What Purpose or Mission Your Career Aspiration will Fulfill  Ways to Increase and Reinforce Career Confidence ·          Recognize Your Professionally Related S...