When Fear is a "Four Letter Word"

-
Fear becomes a "four letter word" or unhealthy and dysfunctional when it interferes with our functioning, rather than facilitate our coping and survival.

Fear is the emotional and physiological arousal that alerts us to potential danger and threat to our well being.  The healthy form of fear occurs when the danger is real.  In such cases, it gets our attention and prompts us to seek ways to get to safety and re-establish a sense of calm and equilibrium.

Unhealthy fear or the "four letter word version" occurs when we experience this distressing emotion in response to perceived danger, that is not real or to negative thoughts that have no proof.  Examples of mental states that underlie unhealthy fear include:
  • persistent and chronic worry about the future
  • negative and pessimistic expectations that have no foundation
  • irrational, unrealistic and erroneous beliefs 
  • viewing a negative event from the past as ongoing, even when it has ceased
  • negative, self-deprecating thoughts and self-assessments 
In these cases, fear can be described as the acronym, "False Evidence Appearing Real" (F.E.A.R.). Such thinking is often referred to as negative self-talk and represents cognitive distortion.  It generates distress that often reduces our self-confidence and sets us up to behave in negative ways. For example, if a person has a persistent belief that he/she is incapable of succeeding, they will usually either avoid challenging tasks or perform far below their actual capacity.

To overcome the distress and negative impact that unhealthy fear causes, it is important to do the following:
Challenge the underlying thoughts or negative self-talk by asking, "What evidence is there to support my fear generating perceptions?"

Take reasonable risks to test out one's negative predictions, that may not have a basis.  A very powerful question from the book, Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson, M.D. is, What would you do, if you were not afraid"? 

Focus on what is happening in the here and now or the present and adopt a healthy recognition that we cannot change the past or predict / control the future 

Recognize and accept the reality that we cannot change others or read their minds

Refrain from internalizing painful experiences, such as failure or being hurt, disappointed or rejected
Instead, recognize that what happens to us does not define us.


Re-focus on what you can control and embrace a healthy sense of empowerment over your life and circumstances, while recognizing realistic limitations.

Remember that in response to challenges or negative experiences, we can 
Heal, Learn and Grow

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Taking Care of Me in 2023: Healthy Self-Love

-
  Elements and the Practice of  Healthy Self-Love As February comes to a close, let's reflect on the major theme, represented by Valentine's Day, that of love . Healthy love is a powerful force.  It provides us with motivation, joy, purpose, and energy.  It is important to remember that healthy love starts with our ability to love ourselves.     Healthy Self-Love Self-Acceptance and Being Authentic Like who you are Focus on and reinforce your strengths and positive qualities Embrace your individuality Self-Compassion Treat yourself well Forgive yourself for past mistakes Accept positive treatment from others Self-Esteem Recognize your value and honor it Honor the priority of your needs Assert your needs and wants Self-Awareness Be in touch with and in control of your emotions Set reasonable and Healthy Boundaries  Practice mindfulness  Positivity Recognize and celebrate your accomplishments Adopt an optimistic mindset Seek to enjoy life Practice gratitude For more about Dr. Dia
Read more

THE BENEFITS OF CAREER CONFIDENCE

-
  Career Confidence is Vital to Career Satisfaction and Success Career Confidence Consists of the Following: Having a strong and positive belief in one's work-related assets (i.e. skills, strengths, abilities, talents that enable achievement) Feeling comfortable demonstrating those assets Seeking and being willing to take on challenges, including learning new skills Feeling good and at ease with celebrating achievements Career Confidence is Important to Career Happiness and Sucess: When you experience a high level of confidence, it functions like a muscle that reinforces your desire and comfort with applying your work-related assets.  This is especially true when you are performing work that you enjoy and is truly a good fit for you. You are also more likely to experience success when you feel the confidence to apply and demonstrate your work-related skills, talents and abilities.   A High and Healthy Level of Self Confidence is Beneficial Because it Enables You To: Represent and p
Read more

Welcome 2023 With Gratitude from 2022

-
  THE BENEFIT OF GRATITUDE  Being Grateful for 2022 Helps Usher in 2023 As 2022 comes to a close, it it helpful to reflect on how we were successful in getting through the year. It is important to note that using a positive lens through which to evaluate what has transpired and where we have landed does not require us to ignore the painful or challenging experiences.  It is healthy to acknowledge problems and negative situations.  However, it is unhealthy to give those events and situations all of the power.  That is what happens when we narrow our lens and focus only or primarily on the pain of hurtful events. A healthy attitude enables us to desire to be whole, feel well and move on. Psychological researchers have found that the practice of gratitude is helpful in switching our perspective from one of problem to solution and building the resilience to overcome the negative impact of hurtful events.  Specifically, the attitude of gratitude is the ability to see the "silver lining
Read more