Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

What TAG are You Wearing?   What Does Your TAG Reflect About You? A TAG is typically thought of as a label, which identifies, describes or provides information about the object, to which it is attached.  The term, "TAG", as it applies to a person's career life, specifically refers to one's talents, abilities and gifts. Talents:   One’s natural or intrinsic strengths; those things that come easy to a person.   Typically, talents become apparent when persons are encouraged to express them and provided with the opportunity to develop them. Example: A parent might notice that their young child is especially good at drawing and reinforces the expression of that talent with positive praise and feedback. What are your talents?    Reflect on your talents by assessing your accomplishments and successes Recognize what it is that you find particularly of interest and easy to do Explore your talents by exposing yourself to different experiences...

"Shoulding" on oneself  is a form of thinking about oneself in harsh, unkind, unfair and judgmental ways. Below are three common manifestations of this type of self "shoulding". Also provided are strategies to  transform such thinking into healthy, self-loving, self-compassionate, reasonable and empowering attitudes. I. Unhealthy, Negative or "Stinking Thinking": "I Should (do something)" Do you attempt to motivate yourself to accomplish something by telling yourself about what you "should do" (or other obligatory and self-judgmental terms, such as "ought to", "got to", "must" and "need to", etc.)?  This for of thinking is self-critical and unkind toward self. Instead, it sets you up to fight internally because you hear yourself commanding yourself to perform. This places undue pressure on oneself and results in added stress. I. Healthy, Self-Compassionate and Self-Loving: "I Want"...

How to Live Intentionally Decide and choose to be: Happy       (a reasonable and manageable state of contentment) Empathic       (considerate toward and able to relate to the feelings of others) Truthful and Authentic      (honest, transparent and open with self and others; behaving        with integrity) Trustworthy       (responsible, reliable, consistent, of  good character) Mindful      (present to the present; valuing and utilizing the moment) Grateful      (appreciative of and able to value good things in life)      Loving      (able to extend oneself toward and connect with others ) Achievement Oriented       (setting and working toward reasonable goals) Empowered over one's circumstances      (behaving and viewing self as able to overcome...

What Happens To You Does Not Define You Healthy Ways to Deal With Negative Circumstances and Events You are not your circumstance It is important to recognize that negative situations and circumstances are something we may experience.  We are in a negative situation; not of it. Externalize negative situations, instead of internalizing a negative self-assessment         (punishing yourself; excessive guilt or shame; feeling unworthy; becoming depressed) Recognize how you survived and may have even overcome a past negative situation. Value your strengths and qualities that have enabled you to get through  Give yourself credit for having healed and gotten to a better place   Focus on ways to cope, get through and overcome a current negative situation Adopt a problem solving attitude and seek possible solutions and resources Recognize when a situation is temporary, so that you realize you will not get stuck Aim for...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY: REDEFINED Let's broaden the Valentine's Day concept to loving ourselves and others, no matter the nature of our relationships. Also, let's recognize it as a way to celebrate loving ourselves and others all year long. It is essential to remember that giving and receiving healthy love starts with loving ourselves.  Here are some healthy-self love guidelines. Healthy Self-Love Self-Awareness Knowing oneself Positive Self-Worth / Priority Valuing oneself and needs Self-Respect /Integrity Having consistent standards and Healthy boundaries Self-Acceptance /Authenticity Embracing and being oneself Feeling Capable Recognizing talents & skills Feeling Accomplished Sense of competence Feeling Secure Trusting oneself Feeling Empowered Being in control of self and decisions Being Responsible for Self Good self-care

Feeling good about oneself is essential to being happy and successful in life. Below, in the "Do" column are strategies to achieve increased self-confidence, self-worth and  sense of capability.  In contrast, in the "Do Not" column are attitudes and practices that rob us of these positive and healthy feelings. Do                                                                                                                   Do Not    Compare Yourself Only With Yourself                                   ...

The Process of Progress As 2017 ends and 2018 begins, it is a natural point in time to stop and reflect on what has occurred and what we hope will happen.   A great deal of emphasis is placed upon setting goals for 2018.   It is healthy and progressive to have an optimistic sense of direction.   However, many of us have grown weary of setting “resolutions” or goals that we either abandon or fail to fully accomplish.   This often breeds a vicious cycle of either setting unrealistic goals, that we are not likely to successfully meet or a chronic sense of trepidation, dread and doubt about the future.    We are more likely to meet and feel optimistic about attaining goals that are based in reality. This enables us to set goals that we can believe in and see the likelihood of success. One approach is to be present and mindful of the journey toward our goal.   In that way, we can understand that the goal is not accomplished overnight and we ...