Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

Happy and Healthy U: SMART Goals for 2015 Making Our  2015 Resolutions Real, Meaningful and Successful How many times have we made New Year's resolutions, only to have them unrealized and unaccomplished?  Perhaps it is because we failed to put a workable plan in place to turn our dreams into reality.  The S.M.A.R.T.  Goals model provides that structure that can help us create the road map toward a feeling of purpose and accomplishment, that can be a wonderful confidence booster.  It should be noted that there are several versions of the SMART model.  Outlined below is a summary of the various models. S pecific or                                  Make sure your goal is clear and concise.  This is where your goal       Significant                                   ...

Happier Holiday Gift Giving Your Presence is a Present Many of us become stressed during the holidays due to the expectations and expense associated with buying and giving gifts.  If you wish to reduce the commercial emphasis of the holidays and provide more meaningful and memorable gifts, consider ways you can give of yourself.  Be sure that what you offer is something that is desired by and useful to the recipient.  Also, be clear about the time frame during which you will fulfill you gift offer and make sure it will be mutually convenient for the recipient and yourself. Gifts of Your  Time ·          Volunteer with a cause important to you or to someone special              to you ·          Help someone with a task (home improvement, painting,             organizing, packing for a move, etc....

MANAGING OUR EMOTIONS By Dr.Diane Kern The Happy and Healthy U approach to managing negative emotions is the A+ Approach .  Acknowledgement and Awareness:   Awareness of ourselves and how we feel is a major step in being able to self-manage or self-regulate. Simply ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” The sooner we are able to recognize that we are experiencing negative emotions and therefore, distress, the easier it is to change and manage such emotions.   Treat your negative emotions as alarm signals.  The purpose of your distressing emotions as alarm signals is to get your attention and alert you to the fact that there is a problem address. Also, identify the things and situations that tend to trigger your negative emotions. Assessment: This is the evaluation step, which has two parts. Assess the basis or cause of the negative emotion by stopping and asking yourself: “What is causing this negative emotion; does this emotion makes sense in light of...

"Getting in and Feeling in Control vs. Being Controlled and Feeling Overwhelmed"  by Diane Kern, Ph.D. Creator of “Happy and Healthy U” Life Coaching Workshops Getting in and feeling in control is about recognizing and claiming one's power in difficult or unpleasant circumstances instead of allowing the circumstance to dictate to and control you. So, ask yourself, “ Who is the Boss of Me?”  Hopefully, you answered “Me” or “I am. “ Let’s see if that is really true.  Below are some self-statements that will allow you to reflect upon your sense of personal control and empowerment. Explore the impact of such perceptions about yourself.  Then, identify solutions for overcoming a sense of being controlled and feeling powerless over one’s circumstances. Impact Questions to Consider:     How is this attitude or perception self-defeating?     How is this attitude influencing the way you feel?     Is that the way you wish...

Make Your Job Work for You Own Yourself! Be in Possession of Who You Are at Work and in Your Profession          Take responsibility for your decisions, actions and attitude           Being self-determined about the manner in which you conduct your professional self           Examples of qualities and traits to adopt and embrace Ø   The amount of initiative you take Ø   The level of competence you demonstrate Ø   The degree to which you function well as a team player Ø   The degree to which you are able to learn from mistakes and improve Ø   The degree to which you are willing to learn new skills and advance Adopt your own agenda If your agenda is to remain with your current job or profession:        Set performance goals         Decide what it is you want from your job/profession and strive toward achievement ...

Setting Healthy Boundaries:  “No” is Not a Nasty Word by Diane Kern, Ph.D. Setting healthy boundaries with others is about being able to set appropriate limits, turn down unreasonable requests and refuse or reject reasonable expectations that will not work well for us. In many instances, it requires us to be able to say, "No" to others without feeling guilty or as though we are mistreating them.  Setting limits is a way to establish and protect our healthy boundaries by setting the parameters within which others may appropriately interact or engage with us. This is also the mechanism by which we determine the lines that distinguish the issues for which we or others are responsible. In other words, by setting healthy boundaries, we reinforce our self-respect, self-esteem and sense of personal power.  This also conveys to others the message that we expect to be treated well. Listed below are guidelines for what constitutes healthy vs. unhealthy boundaries. ...

Turn Off and Tune In:  Listen to Your Inner Voice Does it seem as though you never have enough time? Do you feel constantly rushed and under pressure? Do you end up being last on your own "to do" list? Does it feel as though time is passing you by? Do the electronic devices in your life seem to be in control of your time? If you answered, "yes" to any of the above questions, you are not in control of your schedule.  In fact, you have handed over your power to others and their demands or to things, that take up your time.  Therefore, it is not surprising that you feel like you can never catch up, let alone feel ahead of the curve.  In other words, you are living your life in a reactive mode, as opposed to being proactive.  This is a state in which your happiness, sense of accomplishment and potential are being diminished. There are ways you can change this state of dissatisfaction and disappointment and gain a sense of feeling in control, self-dete...

Identifying and Changing Fear or Anxiety Generating Thoughts and Perceptions Cognitive Distortions:  These are errors in thoughts, perceptions, expectations and attitudes that frequently result in either anxiety, irrational fear or depressed mood.  The list below represents such forms of thinking, which fall within the category of pessimistic or negative thinking and are not based in reality.  The good news is that we can change our thinking.  By recognizing when we are engaging in irrational and anxiety generating thinking, we can replace such thoughts with rational evidence and reality based thinking that will result in our feeling in control, calm, confident about ourselves and optimistic about situations. Distorted, Self-Defeating and Negative Forms of Thinking: All or Nothing or “Black and White” : Engaging in extremes in one’s perceptions. Example: “If I failed one course, I must be stupid or unable to handle college” Over Generalization :...

MAKING YOUR JOB OR CAREER WORK FOR YOU Awareness:Acknowledge Your Work Related Distress Are You Miserable at Work?   Do You Hate Your Job? Do You Dread Going To Work? While at Work, Are You Wishing You Were Someplace or   Anyplace Else?   Have You Lost Your Motivation and Drive to Succeed in Your Current Job?   Do You Want to Leave Your Job or Change Careers, but Feel Afraid to Do So?   Do You Want to Change Careers, but Feel Unsure About What Other Career to Pursue?   Are You Simply Feeling Stuck and In a Rut? Are You Feeling Stressed and Burned Out, Due to the Pressures of Work?   Are You Feeling Tired, Drained, Due to Work Occupying Too Much of Your Life? Assess: Determine the Nature and Source of the Problem What are the causes of your work/career distress? What obstacles are interfering with your career happiness?   Address: S...