Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

Are you feeling pressure to buy gifts for others that you cannot afford? Are you still paying for items purchased during last year's holiday season? Are you going into deeper debt to pay for holiday gifts and expenses? Do you feel guilty about not being able to afford to buy gifts for loved ones? Are you feeling anxious or depressed about finances during the holidays? If you answered "Yes" to any or all of these questions, do not despair. You are not alone.  The holidays are a time when others may and society often places demands on everyone to spend money.  This can be particularly stressful, when you are experiencing financial challenges.  Also, the commercial emphasis on gift purchasing may conflict with a value system of celebrating and focusing on more spiritual meanings of the holidays. Empower and permit yourself to define and determine reasonable and meaningful ways you will celebrate, without feeling  co-opted or stressed. Here are some tips to he...

Unhealthy Attitudes Toward Ourselves: We sometimes behave as though we are our own worst enemy and harshest critic .  We tend to do this by engaging in negative, self defeating attitudes toward ourselves.  This only results in anger at ourselves, anxiety, low self-esteem and behaviors that are often in direct opposition to the very things we want.  Examples of such negative and self-destructive attitudes are :   "Shoulding" on ourselves with self statements, such as "I have to, ought to, or must"    Refusing to forgive ourselves by holding onto blame and shame for past mistakes      Underestimating and devaluing our talents, abilities and positive qualities   Having difficulty acknowledging and enjoying success and accomplishments     Comparing ourselves unfavorably to others and worrying about their view of us Healthy Attitudes Toward Ourselves: When we behave as our own best friend, we display reaso...

Is Your Mind on Your Money or Is Your Money on Your Mind? By Diane Kern, Ph.D. Creator of Happy & Healthy U Seminar Series: www.happyandhealthyu.com   When Our Money is on Our Minds : We are experiencing stress in relationship to our finances. This is an unhealthy state. We feel as though we have no power over our money. In other words, we view ourselves as victims of our finances.  Situations such as excessive debt, insufficient funds, and behaviors, such as overspending and disordered priorities cause feelings of insecurity and create emotional stress (i.e. worry, depression, low self-esteem, frustration and embarrassment). Usually, this state was created by insufficient money management education and the lack of training related to values associated with money. This is also the state in which we operate when money becomes the "fix it" remedy for our emotional distress. For instance "retail therapy" may be utilized to address our feelings of inad...

Don't Give Up:  Hang In There and Keep Focused on Your Goal Recognize that progress occurs as part of a process Acknowledge and focus on your strengths Be patient with yourself   Don't Give Out:  Get Re-Energized Take good care of yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically Take breaks and get rested when you get tired Make time for fun and personal fulfillment Identify and utilize helpful resources Don't Give In: Stay True to Yourself and Your Mission Always maintain your sense of self and values Remind yourself of the purpose your goal is fulfilling Network with positive people, who are genuinely supportive

When Our Money is on Our Minds we feel as though we have no power over our finances. In other words, we view ourselves as victims of our finances.  Situations such as excessive debt, insufficient funds, and behaviors, such as overspending and disordered priorities cause feelings of insecurity and create emotional stress (i.e. worry, depression, low self-esteem, frustration and embarrassment).  When Our Mind is on Our Money we feel empowered over our finances and recognize that our spending is directly related to our values and philosophy about money.  This posture enables us to view money as a tool, over which we have control. Therefore, we are much more likely to make money related decisions that work well for us and that allow us to feel secure and experience a sense of financial responsibility and peace of mind.   

February is Valentine's Month.  Many of us are focused on romantic relationships and being in love.  Some of us are fortunate enough to be in wonderful, loving, supportive romantic relationships. Some of us are unattached and may desire a romantic relationship.  Whether we have that truly special someone or not; it is vitally important that we have a healthy self-love.  No one else can create or fill in gaps in our sense of who we are and our happiness with ourselves. It is our responsibility and only within our power to feel whole and happy deep within.  The better we feel about ourselves, the better able we are to attract, select and provide healthy love when it comes to others. Components of healthy self-love consist of: A strong, positive, strong sense of self Knowing who we are and liking that self Feeling secure, whole, and balanced Having a sense of integrity (living in accordance with our morals, ethics and principles) A healthy sense of self-worth Fe...