Living with "What Is" vs. "What If"
"What If?": The "what If?" thinking state can take two forms. The more common version is comprised of concerns about future things, usually negative, that have not yet occurred. An example of this is when we are considering taking some action and we begin entertaining a litany of what ifs", related to the things we can imagine going wrong. When we experience this form, we are likely to experience a great deal of anxiety and fear to move ahead with a decision and action. The other manifestation of "what if" thinking involves dwelling on the past and on some outcome that we wish had occurred, that in reality, did not happen. An example of past "what if" thinking is when we berate ourselves for not taking a particular course of action because the decision we actually made had a less than desirable outcome. In such cases, we are likely to experience regret, sadness, disappointment, as well as sometimes self-blame due to our...