Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

Are you ready to move from struggling and striving to thriving? To struggle usually entails the expenditure of much energy and pain.  This is a state of distress. To strive is to begin to conceptualize and aim for something good, a desirable state.  This is a state of hopefulness and optimism, while beginning to envision the positive possibilities. To thrive is to truly capture the momentum gained from the striving and to realize and build on the progress accomplished.  This is a state of feeling good,  accomplished and successful in one's endeavors. Research demonstrates that  the following elements are important in one's mindset in fostering the movement from struggling and striving to thriving: Self-Compassion: This is the healthy self-acceptance and self-love that enables us to  overcome and learn from mistakes, instead of internalizing and becoming paralyzed by them to feel good about our accomplishments to feel deserving of good thing...

To Be Successful in Your Career Search and Advancement, It is Important to Self-Promote  and Advocate for Yourself Unfortunately, this is difficult for many, due to the following attitudes: Are you overly self-critical: Is it difficult to recognize and give yourself credit for the positives about yourself and /or your achievements? Are you uncomfortable publicly acknowledging or talking about your accomplishments? Is it difficult to accept compliments or positive feedback? Do you operate as a perfectionist? Do you seldom acknowledge and enjoy your achievements?  Do you feel  not __________ enough (fill in the blank; i.e. smart, pretty, nice, good, etc.)?  Do you feel that you can never do enough or well enough? Do you engage in negative, distorted patterns of thinking? Do you over emphasize your failures and mistakes and ignore or or under rate your achievements? Do you view a mistake or short- coming as never ending and / or unchangeable? ...

Self-Compassion The month of February is over.  However, its theme of love is worthy of celebrating year round.  Healthy love begins with the self and then extends to others. Let's embrace attitudes  and treatment toward ourselves in a compassionate way that is consistent with loving ourselves in a healthy way.    Research demonstrates that healthy self-compassion is correlated with improved psychological well-being, lower depression, decreased anxiety, and increased happiness and greater life satisfaction. The psychological term, self-compassion is defined as unconditional love and self-acceptance. Here is what it looks like in practice: Being kind toward oneself   vs.   Being harsh and punitive toward oneself Example: Allowing oneself opportunities to relax and have fun  Versus  Berating oneself for taking a break or focusing on what one "should" be doing, instead  Being caring and empathetic vs.  Seeing on...

 Feeling Good Leads to Well Being Neuroscience has provided consistent evidence that a relaxed brain is the most efficient brain. A relaxed brain, therefore, enables us to mentally function at our best. For instance, some studies demonstrate that relaxation is related to improved learning and memory. Likewise, studies show that relaxing and reducing stress promotes physical and emotional well being and feeling good in both dimensions. Here is a short list of general ways to achieve a relaxed state and a reduction in stress. Following the list are links to websites, that provide greater descriptions and the "how to" of practicing such preventive and health promoting behaviors. 1. Get good quality sleep 2. Practice deep breathing 3. Meditate 4. Exercise at a moderate level 5. Take tech breaks (from all devices and in particular, social media) 6. Do something fun 7. Laugh and experience humor 8. Connect with others in socially pleasant ways 9. Practice a hobby eng...

Being Happy and Healthy in 2019 Practicing Positivity by Being Optimistic Winston Churchill was quoted with the following statement: "Pessimists see the difficulty in every opportunity; optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty".  The science surrounding Positive Psychology has provided research based evidence that persons, who tend to be optimistic or focus on thinking in positive ways enjoy both physiological and emotional benefits.  Being happy bodes for a longer and healthier life. It is important to note that a sense of happiness is not a brief state of elation or a sporadic burst of positive emotions. It is best defined as a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and social connection. We can enhance and sustain our happiness by practicing the following: Being grateful and thoughtfully acknowledging those things we appreciate in our lives Being curious and taking reasonable risks to expand ourselves, grow and have new experiences Seeing ourselves as c...

Being Patient Is Not Being Passive: The Power in Being Patient Many times, we struggle with being patient, particularly when we are waiting for something we want or desire to happen.   In that struggle, we often perceive ourselves to be powerless and dependent on the external entity to grant that thing, we are awaiting.   This sometimes generates anxiety and other forms of emotional distress (i.e. frustration, irritation, doubt, insecurity, etc.) that can lead to impatience.   In our impatience, we may act impulsively. Such behaviors typically do not result in our getting what we desire. Acting, primarily from a place of impatience, may result in even more undesired and disastrous effects. I propose that we find some healthy guidelines for managing our minds and emotions around being patient. Let's consider healthy attitudes around being patient, so that it can work for us and enhance our well-being. Take the expression, “exercising patience” seriously....

Nurturing Our Being Human Enhances Our Wellbeing Often we treat ourselves as though we are objects or machines. A good example of this is the over emphasis in American society on producing outcomes that are tangible or material in nature. Our tendency to over value what is is we do in this sense, as opposed to focusing on nurturing our well being. Taking care of our well being is the key to enjoying benefits that promote wellness, happiness and a positive sense of self. When we direct our energy and engage in practices that address our needs from the inside out (as opposed to ), we are more likely to experience the following states that research shows are most likely associated with being successful. Feeling a sense of value and priority Feeling energized Feeling relaxed Feeling self-confident Feeling motivated Feeling empowered Feeling a sense of clarity Feeling a sense of purpose Feeling a sense of passion Feeling accomplished Feeling connected to others This is the...