Happy & Healthy U: The Monthly Message

Going to a Positive Work Experience Frees Us from a Negative Situation As a therapist and wellness workshop facilitator, I often hear persons bemoan an unpleasant, draining and toxic workplace situation. A frequently expressed sentiment is, “I have to get out of there”.   It makes sense that we wish to leave situations that are causing us distress. However, we will often get stuck if we only focus on the negative circumstances and pain of the present, without a sense of where we wish to head.   By becoming immobilized, we simply find ourselves in a chronic state of misery and desperation.   Another possibility of simply escaping a negative situation without a clear sense of going to a positive circumstance, is that we may find ourselves in a new workplace environment, dealing with similar negative dynamics and being just as unhappy.    This article addresses ways to transcend and getting in control of a distressing work experience, so that it become...

The Principles and Process of Healthy Forgiveness The Principles:   To "Forgive and Forget" is not healthy. Instead, aim to "Forgive and Remember". It is important to recognize the related circumstances and reasons why the hurtful event happened. Healthy Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It is not some instantaneous feeling that immediately occurs following a hurtful event Forgiveness benefits the person wronged, far more than the person being forgiven. It enables the person wronged to rid themselves of the burden of bitterness, resentment and desire for retaliation. This prevents the erosion of personal well being. Forgiveness of another can occur without the offending party being alive or present. It is a process that starts within the person wronged, then (if possible) offered to the offender.  The Process:   Acknowledge the Emotional Impact of The Perpetrator's Act Validate the underlying painful feelings that the hurtful or off...

Happy and Healthy U:  Relationship Repair Series The ability to provide an effective apology goes a long way in re-establishing relationship harmony and resolving conflict. Let's improve this important interpersonal communication skill to achieve happier and healthier relationships. Key Elements of an Effective Apology ·          Authentic expression of remorse           Ex. “I’m sorry”   or “I apologize” ·          Acknowledgment of responsibility for the behavior            Ex. “I was wrong to have yelled at you” ·          Expression of empathy, regarding the impact on the other Ex. “I realize that my actions embarrassed and hurt you” ·          Making Amends...